Through the mind of a madman
by Creenella
Summary: Touka takes a walk through Kaneki's mind... (rated M for rather detailed discription of injuries)


Pure darkness surrounded her, cracking sounds of breaking bones echoing steadily like a ticking clock from far, far away. It was warm here, but yet colder than anything she'd ever felt before.  
Several corpses around her passed her as she walked through the thick darkness around her, the smell of dead flesh and rotten bodies sticking onto her, covering her with a strange feeling...

But there was also something else...A strange, but yet so familiar smell hit her nose.

Flowers? Coffee? Maybe even a mix between both...?  
She could hear the crackling sounds of a gigantic centipede's legs crawling all around her, hidden in the darkness.  
A laughter echoed almost not hearable from far away, a laughter that could have belonged to a madman...Despair and pain stained it's sound in a dark and cold tone, as the laughter slwoly turned into a scream of pure horror. The sound of rusty pliers digging into flesh, breaking the bones underneath dug their way into her ears, followed by another scream...

Over...And over...And over again...

 _ **...993... ...937...**_

Blurry pictures suddenly flashed before her eyes.  
A bloodcovered chair.  
A black and white checkered floor with huge puddles of blood.  
Rusty pliers.  
A young couple, dead and liveless on the floor.  
A bucket full of toes and fingers...  
A Centipede.

 _ **...832...**_

Another scream followed and she flinched at it's sound, she recognized this voice way too well, she could feel her heart crumbling into pieces when the realization of what this meant hitted her.

He had been tortured.

...During the whole fifteen days he was gone...

The blurry silhuette of a door suddenly formed in front of her, it was a big wooden door, painted in an elegant black, covered with several splats of blood. With a trembling hand, she grabbed the doorknob and hesitated for a second.  
She was afraid of what she was about to see.  
The doorknob slowly twisted and she could hear a familiar "click" sound when she opened the door. A bright white light flooded through the now slowly opening door, enlightening the path she came from. Her breath hitched in panic when she took a look behind her. She was now able to see the corpses' faces...

 _ **...797...**_

 _ **...741...**_

There was Nishiki, Koma-san, Irimi-san, Hide, Hinami, some people she didn't know, but she could recognize one of them as his Mother by her look...  
All of them had been ripped into pieces brutally.  
But the most shocking corpse was...Herself. Head ripped off her torso, lying on her lap, broken limbs bending into impossible directions, the empty eyesockets crying out a neverending stream of blood...

 _ **...678...**_

She tore her gaze away from the horrible sight and turned to the open door in front of her, enrolling a huge field of white and blood-red flowers. Directly in between them a chair, the same chair she had seen before, where someone was sitting.  
It was him.  
The snow-white hair hanging dirty and stained with splatters of blood into his face. His head hanging down tiredly, being strapped onto this chair the whole time.

She suddenly noticed the silent voice of someone, whispering in a sickly sweet tone.

"...you are so weeaaak~..."

"...too weak to let go...and too weak to keep..."

"...Only the strong are able to keep~..."

She immediately recognized it...  
...It belonged to Rize Kamishir0.

Touka's eyes teared up.  
So that's why he became like this...?

"...Ka...ne...ki...?" She quietly said with a hoarse voice and slowly walked towards him.

This couldn't be...  
He did nothing wrong to ever deserve this...  
She could see his head slowly lifting, giving her a look that seemed to be a mixture of suprise, horror and a tiredness that could have been enough for the whole world to fall asleep for hours...  
She broke down and stared at him in pure shock as thick streams of tears flooded her face, that made her vision become blurry.  
It became even blurrier, making his blood-smeared face fade.

A sudden thud made her eyes shot open and she stared at the ceiling of her room.  
She had been fallen out of her bed.  
It was just a nightmare...  
She almost sighed in relief, but quickly remembered that this wasn't just a nightmare. It was a summary of what she had seen about two weeks ago.

Yomo had kept it a secret, but he'd found a dvd that had recorded what happened with Kaneki, after he got kidnapped by Aogiri, inside of the building back when we tried to save him.  
But since the anteiku raid, everyone suspected Kaneki to be dead by now and nobody had heard of him ever since, so Yomo showed me.  
She was able to understand his actions now, his fear of getting ripped apart what was important to him.

 _'I think I've never cried more because of someone ever before.'_ She thought.


End file.
